Change is a constant part of life. We experience change on so many levels, from moving to a new place as a child, to the shifting climates of the world. Thinking about our newly launched Muscle Balm, I was curious to explore this theme. As we grow older, our bodies are constantly changing, including the new aches we encounter. At the same time, our minds and perspectives are shifting, too.
Are you good at change? Do you invite it into your life, or do you actively avoid it?
I was excited to chat with Benita R. about her familiar relationship with change. She is one of Toronto’s most talented Bharatanatyam dancers and a multi-hyphenate at heart. Throughout our conversation, we explored change in Benita’s life, how dance is an expression of emotions, and what self-care looks like for her (binge-watch recs, included!).
What Benita reminds us is that change happens, but it’s our identities and passions that help us understand it better. Instead of letting it control us, we get to craft our own narrative of becoming.
Q. Tell us about yourself, Benita!
I'm a lawyer by profession, and I've been a Bharatanatyam dancer and choreographer for over 15 years. I'm currently a choreographer for Shadow Entertainment, and I create other choreography pieces on my own, as well. I'm a huge art seeker, nature lover, and love all things fashion and beauty. I enjoy spending time with family and friends and having that supportive aura around me.
Q. How has your heritage shaped who you are today?
My heritage has made me who I am today and has helped me explore different creative avenues. From a young age, I've been immersed in Tamil fine arts culture. My parents always educated me on our culture, whether it was through dance or saree draping. My mom is a Tamil teacher and she’s passionate about sarees. We have a saree brand called Muhurtham! We were inspired to take our culture learnings, coupled with my mom’s passion for sarees, and create something of our own.
Q. Is dance a source of inspiration or healing for you?
I started dancing when I was seven. When you’re ten or eleven, it can be hard to really connect to the emotions behind dance. But from a very young age, I felt a strong connection to it. My parents didn’t need to push me to go to Bharatanatyam class every Sunday. It was part of my identity.
Because of dance, I’ve evolved into the adult that I am. I carry dance along with me wherever I go. It allows me to express the specific emotions I’m feeling. Let’s say, if I’m in a dark place in life, I would match my body movement to the emotions and music. To me, dance is such a beautiful art form — the way it tells a story and captures emotions beyond words. It really grounds me and heals me.
Q. Tell me about a significant moment of change in your life.
I’ve experienced a lot of change throughout my life. Each moment of change almost feels like a test to see how I will do. For example, I was a two-hour drive away from home, when it came to university. Then, I went to law school abroad in London, and that was a long flight away from home.
Studying abroad was a challenging moment in my 20's, both mentally and emotionally. I navigated so many new, difficult, and different things, away from my friends and family. Even dealing with the permanently gloomy weather!
What really helped me navigate this change was incorporating my routine from home, practicing self-care, and buying home decor that reminded me of home. Honestly, I did anything that would provide me with support and comfort, in a day to day sense. It ended up being a great experience. And it was a significant moment of growth for me.
Q. How are you experiencing change in your current season of life?
My husband and I moved into our first home together. It's both of our first time being in a whole empty house — so lots of change happening there! It’s slowly coming together with open communication, like discussing how we want to organize and furnish every space. We’ll be celebrating our first Deepavali and Christmas soon, in this new home. It’s exciting that we’ll get to have family traditions and create new ones, too.
Even though there’s difficulty in change, there’s beauty in unveiling the better parts of yourself. I’ve grown so much from change. As I get older, I approach change by remaining calm and trying to find a route to feeling better or growing from whatever is happening.
Q. How do you find balance in your life, as a multi-hyphenate?
You know how South Asian parents put you in 500 different activities when you’re a kid? I’m not someone who finds comfort in doing just one activity. Like, it can’t just be all about my profession. If I’m not dancing, going on walks, working on the saree business, or spending time with loved ones, I feel like something’s missing. I try to make sure that I schedule my time to be able to do the things that bring me joy. When I’m planning my month, if there’s any time to do XYZ, I make sure it happens. That’s what keeps me going! It makes me feel like there are things to look forward to, and it helps me hold down the fort better.
Q. What is your favorite remedy you learned from an elder?
My mom and aunt would put together the most amazing concoctions of home remedies. It was a secret family recipe! But it involved Ayurvedic and Indian ingredients, like turmeric. My mom would put together a hot oil, any time my knee swelled up or my shoulders were tight. She would dip into the hot oil, dab it very lightly on my area of pain, and it worked! We also use ghee a lot in my family, from our home cooked meals, to keeping our skin hydrated.
Q. What does self-care look like for you right now?
With self-care right now, I’m really going back to my roots. My mom taught me to have a day to put a face mask on and take care of my inner health. In an everyday sense, my husband and I make sure to eat healthier and take our vitamins. For the last two weeks, we’ll wake up and go out for a walk. Even 20 minutes of walking makes me feel recharged and less groggy. It’s a new routine that energizes my mind and body.
Even doing nothing can be helpful! Like binge-watching a whole season of a TV show. If that’s what works for you. Some months, that’s the self-care I need. Lately, I’ve been watching the new season of Love Is Blind, a horror TV show called From, and I just finished Nobody Wants This — it was cute.
Q. What are your current favorite skincare and beauty items?
Bodycare: Bharatanatyam can really take a strain on your body. I’ve been using Ghlee’s Muscle Balm on my knees, ankles, and back; it’s really helped to decrease pain and relax my muscles. I’ve tried all the different pain relief balms — the hot & colds, the tiger balms — but this one really works! What I don’t like about other muscle balms is that you can’t go out with them on. Like, you’ll really smell like it. But with this one, I don’t feel that way. The menthol isn’t too overpowering.
Skincare: I’ve really been loving Korean skincare lately, and I like to use COSRX face lotion. Sometimes, I still make my mom’s turmeric and yogurt mask and put that on my face. I like using that combination of Ayurvedic and Korean skincare in my routine.
Beauty: For my everyday makeup, I’ll do my eyebrows, put on mascara, and do a quick eyeshadow look. Recently I’ve been loving blushes, especially from Patrick Ta, and Fenty’s Gloss Bombs for lip gloss.
Q. Finish this sentence with a bit of wisdom you want to share: “Because I’m Made With Ghee…”
I’m embracing change in my life and reminding myself that I’ve become who I am through change.
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Thank you to the By The Kollective team for bringing this photo series to life:
Creative Director: Kiran Rai
Photographer: Baljit Singh
DOP: Sandro Pehar
MUAH: Jappay
BTS: Villa
